Thomas Hunt

My latest business venture is the sale of "You're Welcome" cards - perfect items for those times when you just can't let the matter drop. Think about it: So often you receive an invitation card you didn't ask for/didn't want to some silly event you couldn't possibly be persuaded to attend. What do you do? Largely out of an irrational sense of guilt, you send a gift and a card with your negative RSVP. Of course, then the inviters respond to your card and gift by sending you another card that says, "Thank you." That's where the scenario generally ends. But why should THEY always get the last word? After all, THEY'RE the ones that started the whole thing in the first place! A "You're Welcome" card allows you to put an end to the interaction on your own terms.

I need a bunch of decals of the numeral, "8."  And a few with a ♠ symbol.  I have a sudden urge to do something special for  all the folks with bumper stickers that read, "I ♥ My Dog"

(Originally written in 2008.)    I've noticed that our holidays have opposites or anti-holidays. It is sometimes difficult to identify an anti-holiday, as the opposition between holidays can be hidden somewhere beneath their apparent purposes. I'll save you the trouble by outlining the holiday opposite-pairs below.    The most obvious holiday - anti-holiday pair is Memorial Day and Labor Day . I know that Memorial Day is primarily set aside for honoring the great sacrifice of our fallen service men and women and that Labor Day is set aside for recognizing the pains of childbirth. (That was a joke. OK?) There's nothing in those stated purposes that makes them opposites.    However, the holidays have secondary purposes that are indeed polar opposites. Memorial Day is the day we take off from work in order to open up our swimming pools for the summer. Labor Day is the day we take off from work in order to close up our swimming pools for the winter. ...

The Hartford Courant reported today that University of Connecticut President Susan Herbst earns far more than the median U.S. salary for her position. Herbst may be an obscure figure around much of the country, but she is certainly well known in Connecticut and throughout New England. She is well regarded in her state for her guidance of UConn, and apparently she is well compensated for that role. She earned $525,000 in base pay in 2014 and another $50,000 in deferred compensation, and she secured a handsome raise at the end of the year. Across the country, university presidents earn a median of $428,000, according to The Chronicle of Higher Education quoted in the Courant article. In addition to a lot of money, Herbst also receives a lot of attention from the press in Connecticut. I've noticed stories about her initiatives at UConn, her contract extension (which this past December brought her a raise of more than 20% ) , her investments, her role with the AAC... But I have...

Terrible misunderstanding.  The country has been in an uproar over Indiana's new law, which says in part: "A governmental entity may not substantially burden a person's exercise of religion, even if the burden results from a rule of general applicability." It seems to many that the  law was primarily intended to permit discrimination against gay and lesbian citizens by those who read an anti-gay message into their Bibles. After some investigation, I am assured that the law's intent was merely to guarantee that Indianans could ignore the highway toll while driving to church. (BTW, it seems Indiana now needs to keep an eye out for any new religions that consider armed robbery to be a sacrament.)

Many years ago, when particularly exhausted during a drive home from a late-night shift at work, my right arm happened to hit my right thigh. Not feeling the ring of keys that I have always - ALWAYS - kept in my right pants pocket, I instinctively knew something was terribly wrong. I quickly checked my other pockets, though I knew that was futile. No keys! Thoughts flew through my mind, as I got more and more panicky: "Should I return to work to search for the keys?" "I don't know how to get in the building at this hour, so I've just got to go home." "But how will I get into the house when I get there?" "What's going on? I've never misplaced my keys before." "I guess I could climb into the house through a window." "It's still so early - should I wake someone to help me?" "Uh oh. I have to work again later today - how will I be able to get to work without the keys to start the car?" "I...

Well, the new Apple iPhone does appear to be a bit larger - from the photo it appears to be about 12 feet tall. But does that still qualify as a mobile device? With the announcement of the new iPhone 5 yesterday, Apple also unveiled a number of new accessories for the device, including a ten-foot stylus, a slick, glass and aluminum step ladder; a wheel-barrow-like carrying case; and a pair of jeans with really, REALLY big pockets.

Kids' first day of school. Though I am in a celebratory mood, no party is planned here. The occasion requires a very different approach. I'm thinking about a quiet moment with a mug of tea (toast would be far too noisy), a quiet uninterrupted shower, some quiet editing followed by some quiet research on the computer or maybe I'll do book-based research today to avoid all that noisy mouse-clicking, then a nice quiet walk around the property with the dog (when the bees and birds aren't too loud), a bit of quiet work on the house and some lengthy daydreams about the virtues of boarding school. Basically... quiet. I have formulated a contingency plan if non-quiet situations occur. If, for example, the phone should happen to ring or one of the kids' diabolical electronic noise-making devices should happen to squawk, I intend to toss it out into the middle of Route 30 and immediately erase the incident from my mind. (Just noticed kitty preparing to meow and then t...

Living here in our old* Vermont farmhouse has provided unique exercise opportunities. Each morning, I get up and take a long walk up and down and across several significant hills, and that's just to get from the bedroom to the bathroom. Yes, the interior terrain has been challenging. When we first moved in, I noticed that I was rolling out of bed in the morning far too literally. So we moved the furniture against different walls. Now, I can't get to sleep because I fear the bureau falling on me. (And the recliner doesn't seem to recline nearly as far as it used to, though setting it upright performs a useful dumping feature for the occupant). Of course, I'm exaggerating a little here. There are hills and valleys in our old wood floors. But they're nowhere near as bad as some of the homes we considered buying. One house actually came with several sets of alpine gear to help you get from the kitchen to the dining room. (* - The building is "old" by our...

Got a solution to the Celsius-Fahrenheit thing. You're probably aware that the war over conflicting temperature scales has been raging for the past 270 years or so. Well, I'm putting a stop to it here and now. Celsius forces gradually have taken over much of the world (most of the conquest was achieved while they called themselves Centigraders, but we knew what they really were). The United States and fellow former British colonies the Cayman Islands and Belize are the remaining bastions of Fahrenheitism. The solution to the dispute is fairly simple. I'll walk you through it: Now, let's first agree that it would be stupid to drop °F for °C, because °F is a far more precise measurement. There are almost two Fahrenheit degrees for every Celsius degree. It frankly makes no sense to move from our slender, exact Fahrenheit degrees to fat, clumsy Celsius degrees. All those countries that have already done so are simply dumb. (Sorry. I know the truth hurts sometimes...

I wasn't taking notes, so I may be just a bit off on some of my quotes. But this is what I believe I heard at the last debate of GOP Presidential hopefuls. Bachmann: I'm more conservative than you are. Pawlenty: Nuh uh. Bachmann: Uh huh. Pawlenty: No way. Bachmann: Yes way. Pawlenty: I'm so conservative that I don't care if poor people have health care. Romney: Well, I've never cared about the disadvantaged either. Pawlenty: Oh yeah? Romney-care, Romney-care. Romney: Real mature! Cain, Pawlenty, Bachmann, Huntsman, Gingrich and most of audience: Romneycare, Romneycare. Romney: [sniffle] Questioner: Mr. Gingrich, how come your campaign sucks so bad? Gingrich: No fair asking "Gotcha" questions! Santorum: I'm so conservative that, when I'm president, I will see to it that we return to colonial status in the British Empire. Huntsman: I'm so conservative that I believe taking money away from pub...

You probably couldn't tell just by looking at me [roll eyes], but I have put on a few pounds since writing has become my occupation. This appears to be a natural development - an occupational hazard. I've noticed that the act of writing has peculiar effects on the human body. It makes one hungry without burning a great many calories and makes one tired without the benefit of exercise. This wasn't always the case. I recall that the use of manual typewriters years ago was superb aerobic exercise (particularly for the left arm that was forever slapping the carriage return lever). And, if you ever had to move your writing device, it could qualify as weight-training as well. Pushing the buttons on feather-light keyboards just doesn't have the same effect. I've heard of one "green" option that might help writers keep slim. It involves hooking an electrical generator up to a treadmill or stationary bike and then plugging a notebook PC into the generator....

Had a conversation with my kids about the safety of trampolines. One of them referred to a friend who had a trampoline and insisted that they were safe. "Which friend is that?" I asked. "You know, the one with the big cast on his arm," was the answer. It was a humorous moment. But to parents the situation is far from funny. According to a CBS News story this year, in 2009 there were 98,000 trampoline injuries so severe that they required Emergency Room treatment. Eighty-two percent of those injuries were to children under the age of 15. Manufacturers have made some efforts to keep children from falling off the devices and from coming in violent contact with the hard metal frames. We've all seen the padding and the nets that have been added to trampolines. Strangely, manufacturers often sell the things without these safety features. Even when trampolines are equipped with these safety measures, the pads and nets can easily be removed. It is also importa...

I'm starting to think we need to bring a class action suit against the USPS for its blatant refusal to acknowledge the existence of low-cost Parcel Post and Media Mail shipping methods. If you doubt the need for this action, check on the problem yourself: Bring a package to your local post office and ask to ship it the cheapest way possible. You will be given a number of choices, none of which are as cheap as Parcel Post or Media Mail. Even if you know about these methods of mailing AND specifically request them, postal clerks will do their best to talk you out of them. Here is a recent conversation I had with a postal clerk: "I'd like to send this package by Media Mail." "What's in it?" "It's a book, and I'd like to send it Media Mail." "If there's anything other than a book inside..." "There's isn't. It's just a book. You can feel the book through the package, see?" "Because we hav...

I hear that a movie about Captain America is due to open soon. I have to admit that I have always considered Captain America a bit of a national embarrassment. The guy's only weapon is a shield, and he doesn't even seem to know what it's for. Other superheroes have all sorts of nifty weapons and powers. Even Captain Canada occasionally wields a broken beer bottle - Molson, I believe. And I hear Captain Antarctica has a mobile penguin launcher that does all sorts of damage. Captain America doesn't even have a utility belt. How can you expect to be a superhero with just a shield and no utility belt? I've always felt that Thor was pretty lame as a superhero. But at least he's equipped with a hammer. When he's not clubbing criminals with it, he can use it on odd jobs around the house and can also make some pretty big holes in stuff. (The whole flying gimmick, in which he supposedly throws the hammer and then quickly grabs the handle to be carried along with ...