Friday, August 12, 2011

What I thought I heard from GOP debate

I wasn't taking notes, so I may be just a bit off on some of my quotes. But this is what I believe I heard at the last debate of GOP Presidential hopefuls.



Bachmann: I'm more conservative than you are.

Pawlenty: Nuh uh.

Bachmann: Uh huh.

Pawlenty: No way.

Bachmann: Yes way.



Pawlenty: I'm so conservative that I don't care if poor people have health care.

Romney: Well, I've never cared about the disadvantaged either.

Pawlenty: Oh yeah? Romney-care, Romney-care.

Romney: Real mature!

Cain, Pawlenty, Bachmann, Huntsman, Gingrich and most of audience: Romneycare, Romneycare.

Romney: [sniffle]



Questioner: Mr. Gingrich, how come your campaign sucks so bad?

Gingrich: No fair asking "Gotcha" questions!



Santorum: I'm so conservative that, when I'm president, I will see to it that we return to colonial status in the British Empire.

Huntsman: I'm so conservative that I believe taking money away from public schools is the best way to improve them.

Bachmann: I'm so conservative that I would treat homosexuality as a mental illness. And I would see to it that high on the wall in front of every public school classroom there was a crucifix and a photo of Ronald Reagan.

Pawlenty: I'm so conservative that I don't believe Bachmann should have the right to vote.



Questioner: Mr. Gingrich, what would you do as president?

Gingrich: I refuse to answer any "gotcha" questions.

Questioner: Well, why should anyone vote for you?

Gingrich: It's just one "gotcha" after another.



Questioner: As president what would you do about the debt ceiling?

Romney: I won't eat dog food.

Pawlenty: Romneycare, Romneycare.

Gingrich: [shakes head]

Bachmann: We should have left the ceiling where it was. Plaster it here and there. Maybe a new coat of paint.

Paul: Well, I think marijuana should be legal, the Federal Reserve should be illegal, and we should be friends with Iran.

Questioner: But, Mr. Paul, the question was about the debt ceiling.

Paul: [snores]

No comments:

Post a Comment